Saturday, 17 April 2010

Wind Beneath My Wings...

It has been 2 weeks and 2 days since I've been here in UK and I always miss Family. Eversince I had my 1st step out of our little home, I already missed them. Not a day and night goes by that I'm not thinking of them. Every beautiful places I visit, I always wish they're enjoying with me. Everytime I eat delicious food, I close my eyes and wish they're having the same that moment. They are always a part of my dreams, every little dream I make for myself it won't be complete without them. Every step I make and every decision I made or will make, they're a part of it.
It was so hard for me leaving them..really really hard. For I've never experienced life without them and far from them in 22 yrs of my life. I was scared..very very scared. Cos I know deep in me that I was and I am very dependent with them. And then here's this that I have to learn living without them. And that I'm not their little girl anymore, I'm getting married and will have my own family very soon. That thought scared me more..cos I was anxious of the fact that from now on I should stand up not just for myslef but also for the family I will build.
I can still remember how I cried myself to bed 2 nights before we left. It was so painful that I cried so much without my bunny knowing..I don't know, the thought of leaving my mum suddenly came in my mind and a whole bunch of melancholy covered me.I even did want to back out from going with James here. I do want to be with hime so much but the fact that I'm leaving my mama after 22yrs made me doubt it. Just then I realised I am not a little girl anymore, I am getting older! I should be strong, independent and be a Woman enough for my family, just as what my mama and papa wanted me to be. So now I am trying to, for my family back home, for my papa and for my hunnybun and our soon to be family.


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